The Causes and Effects of Bordom
by Lizzy Rebel
Summary: [HaruElie, semihumor oneshot] The things you do when you're bored...


_Disclaimer:_ I do not own Rave Master they belong to… someone else

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**The Causes and Effects of Boredom**

Who knew riding a train was so boring?

Certainly not Haru Glory or he wouldn't have been on the said train. He would have suggested swimming across the sea or something. He hate being bored, loathed it with an intensity that matched the hot white heat of a thousand suns.

Someone, he reasoned with himself as he pushed a foul-tasting fruit into his mouth, should have told him how boring riding a train was. But no, they completely ignored the fact that Haru detested boredom and dragged him onto the train.

Okay, so he was the one who was so intent on getting to the Lyric Continent, but he had wanted to do it the most interesting way possible.

Riding a train was proving to be… not interesting. All the train did was go forward and forward over the same blue sea. Nothing happened. It was the same thing day in and day out.

Thank God it was only going to take three days or so to get to the Lyric Continent.

But that didn't solve the whole _now_ problem. He was bored _now_, right now, at this very moment. And Haru Glory did not like to be bored.

With a sigh of frustration he kicked his legs out of the tiny, uncomfortable seat of the dining table he had thrown himself into when he found there was absolutely nothing for him to do on the blasted train.

Putting a hand on back of his head, he closed one eye and glanced around at the dining hall. People had crowded in there, most likely to have something to do, and they chatted aimlessly.

The food was crap, however, so Haru decided he wasn't sticking around.

"Why isn't there something fun to do around here?" Haru demanded and, of course, received no answer.

The train moved beneath his feet as he walked, the big windows on the walls giving him a clear view of the endless sea beneath him. Okay, so maybe he wouldn't have been able to swim that even if he had wanted to… but it was a thought.

"What ya doin'?"

Haru glanced up and narrowed his eyes at Musica as the browned-haired man leaned against the bland white wall—_they couldn't even paint the walls a damned color, could they?_—with a calm face. He decided he detested Musica with every fiber of his being for being able to enjoy this thing called boredom.

"Aren't we just happy to be bored?" Haru asked and bared his teeth at Musica for good measure. A fight was interesting enough, even if it was a verbal one.

"You know, Haru, you're only bored because you're immature," Musica pointed out with a calm shrug, his brandy eyes almost amused by the pale-haired youth before him.

"Hey!"

"It's a fact," Musica answered in very annoying matter-of-fact voice. "Elie's just as bored as you are, but she's found something to occupy herself with."

"What, a shower?" It was not a new fact that Elie was just as bored as Haru. Like him, she lived for action, for movement. Being on a train was killing her and Elie tended to take out her frustration on whoever was nearest her. Unfortunately, such a duty often fell upon one Haru Glory.

So to pass the time, and to give Haru a break, Elie took showers. A lot. She probably took at least two a day. Soon, Haru was pretty sure, she was going to have permanent wrinkly skin.

"Or something," Musica answered with a dangerous glint in his eyes that had little warning bells going off in Haru's head.

"What did you do to her?" Not that Haru thought Musica would do anything _really_ dangerous to Elie, but the brunette tended to overreact to a lot of things and if Musica had done something that set her off…

"I tied her up, stuffed her in a brown bag, and threw her into the ocean," Musica replied with another calm shrug. "She was getting annoying. Always complaining about how _bored_ she was. The girl had it coming."

"WHAT?"

"God, Haru," Musica sighed and ran a hand through his spiked dark brown hair. "You're so pathetic. Would I really do that?"

"Jerk," was Haru's reply as he shouldered his way pass Musica. "Just picking on me because I'm bored. Is it my problem that you're so mature that you're unfazed by the things normal people are?"

"I wouldn't say that…" Musica muttered and smiled.

As Haru began to grumble he pushed his hands into his black jeans. He had chosen to wear just his plain white shirt—the black jacket was in his room—and wished he had his jacket to give off his tough-guy persona. That was, in all actuality, why he had first been drawn to the thing.

_Thud._

"Huh?" Haru stopped halfway down the train's narrow hallway. Blinking in confusion he looked over at the sound. It was a small, brown door. It didn't seem to lead to anywhere important. Maybe just a closet.

_Thud._

"Hey!" Haru waved over Musica. "There was a sound here just a—"

_BANG!_

Musica walked over to Haru just as Plue and Griffon rounded a corner. Haru didn't wonder why Plue hadn't been by his side for the last two hours. Sometimes the dog thing just had to do its own thing, you know? But they were certainly in a hurry to get to where he stood, weren't they?

"Why don't you check it out?" Musica suggested as he looked over his shoulder at the creatures hurrying to them.

"Okay," Haru muttered and opened the door. In was dark inside but before the person in it or he could react a big hand was shoving him in. He crashed into something warm and soft but didn't consider it as he was too busy yelling, "MUSICA!"

The door slammed shut.

_Click._

"Oh great," Haru muttered. Musica had locked the door. He was going to kill Musica when get out of here. It was going to be long and painful and involve the removal of several _vital_ limbs.

But first things first. Just whose warm and soft body was he pressing against?

"Haru!"

Uh-oh. He knew that voice. Knew it very well. It had been with him ever since he had started on his journey to find the Rave stones and never ceased to make him remember the power hidden under it.

"Elie?" he called into the darkness. The body he was leaning against moved a fraction of an inch in answer. Yup, definitely Elie's body.

"You're touching my—!" Elie began but the light fluttered on and cut her off. Haru remembered he had seen the switch on the outside wall which meant that any hope of Musica being innocent was gone.

Not that Haru cared. He was going to kill Musica either way.

The room he was in was, without a doubt, a closet. It was small, no more than two feet wide, and cramped with brooms and other cleaning materials. Which meant there wasn't much breathing room for one person… let alone two.

That was when Haru took note of the situation he was currently in. And it wasn't pretty. In fact, it was down right embarrassing. Really embarrassment. Walking-in-on-your-mom-and-dad-having-sex embarrassing.

Not to mention a bit… _tight_.

Elie's long, long leg had lifted when he had been pushed in and was now currently wrapped around his waist for balance. Their bodies were melded together and no one could move without pushing themselves closer. Not that they could get any closer… unless they removed some clothes and…

Well, you got the picture.

Oh yeah and his hands were… Haru looked down at them and gulped. Well, his hands were… not on purpose, mind you, but they… er… were…

… On Elie's breasts. Beneath his hands they were nice and rounded and full. And Haru, while indeed the Rave Master, was just a hormonally driven teen and his body took note of that.

Unfortunately, Elie also took notice of where his gaze had landed. Her face reddened. "Pervert!" she shouted and managed to raise a hand and hit him in the face. Haru was just thankful there was no way for her to reach for her guns. No need for psycho-trigger-happy Elie—as he had taken to calling that side of her—to make a scene.

"Ow! Hey, it wasn't my fault. I was pushed in!" he protested and lifted his arms from her breast—a little reluctantly, mind you; remember those hormones? Well, they rather liked the position they were currently in—and raised them above their heads.

"Shut up!" she snapped and the blush didn't leave her face. She shifted so she could turn her head, her big doe-eyes brimming with rage, and those breasts skimmed across his chest.

_Good God._

Why had he never realized how revealing that outfit of hers was before? The way her white tank top molded her generous curves and the shortness of her pretty pink skirt. How had he missed that?

"Must get out," Haru rasped, choking on lust as it began to play jump-rope with his stomach.

"Damn right!" Elie agreed. "I'm going to see to it that Musica never has children." Elie grinned at him. "Sorry I hit you. Wasn't your fault I suppose."

"Must get out."

"You alright, Haru?" Elie touched the side of his face, where she had hit him.

No. No. No. He wasn't alright. Why hadn't he realized he was attracted to her before? Must have been because he was too busy with his quest to realize just how hot Elie was. But now he was bored and locked in a very tight closet with Elie. So the lust and the attraction was just pouring out.

Was it karma or something?

"Now you're creeping me out," Elie said and a flush replaced her blush. Well, she _could_ feel his wiry muscles beneath his tight shirt. Why on earth did Haru wear it so tight? Didn't most guys like it loose? What was with the whole metro look he sported?

"I'm creeping myself out," Haru muttered and arched his back, unintentional pushing himself deeper into Elie, and reached out for the door. "Musica! Damnit, let us out! This isn't funny, you jerk!"

He had to get out before he did something really, really, _really_ regrettable… and went to the grave early for it. Elie would shoot first and ask question later. Haru didn't think he'd make very good target practice… seeing as how he had this thing about being riddled with bullet holes.

"Can you reach the door, Haru? Maybe it's open." They both knew it wasn't—Musica wasn't stupid. Dead, but not stupid—but Elie knew she had to get out and fast before she took a long drink of his lips.

"No." If he turned then Elie would realize just how attracted to her he was—because well… _goddamn hormones and moderately tight jeans_!—and that would not be good. She would have every right to kill him then. Every single, goddamn right.

And well… Haru liked to live.

So sue him.

"Maybe, I can." Before Haru had the sense to protest, Elie leaned against him and reached for the door handle. She tugged on it—each movement brushing her body against his, which sent his hormones into overload and made his mind scream: _danger! Danger! Will Robinson!_—and groaned in frustration. "Damnit."

"Elie. Back. Up."

"What on earth?" Elie wondered and glanced up at him. "What's wrong, Haru? Don't you want out?" She didn't move back. She moved closer. Haru was sweaty and it was an interesting picture. She had never seen him sweat except in the heat of battle… and it wasn't all that hot in here and they weren't fighting, were they?

Or had she missed something?

"If you don't back up. I'm going to kiss you," Haru grounded out and his eyes all but crossed. "A lot." There he said. Now she would panic and he could get some breathing space and calm those damned raging hormones. Was there anything good about being a teenager?

Hell no… well, except maybe for that reckless abandon that he had heard made sex pret_-tay_ interesting. And kinky.

No, not going to go there. Differently not going to go there. _I wonder if Elie's into that kinda thing. No! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! But still I bet she… ACK! NO! Stay out!_

"Oh…" Elie blinked several times and considered him. She smiled slowly. "Then maybe I'll just…" Well, she certainly didn't move away.

She moved in.

Her lips met his in a small tease that had Haru's whole body tightening. He reached out and gripped her waist, his big hands spreading over her tiny hips. Her breasts were crushed against his chest. Elie lifted her other leg and wrapped both off her runner's legs around his waist.

Okay some maybe hormones weren't so bad, especially if they were making Elie kiss him like _that_. All that tongue and heat and lips, the little teasing nibbles, and the pulsing of her body. Hormones were a-okay in his book.

When they finally moved apart Haru had Elie backed against the wall, her body pressed hard against his, and admitted, "I like you, Elie, a lot."

"That's nice," Elie agreed with a nod. "I like you, too." She smiled into his eyes and nibbled at his bottom lip, wiggling her hips until he was panting. "So why did you decide that you couldn't resist my charms?"

"Well," Haru said in consideration and decided to risk Elie's wrath and allowed his gaze to travel down, eyeing the cleavage teasing the neckline of her shirt. After all, he was the Rave Master but he was also a hormonally driven teenager. "I was kinda bored today and so…"

Elie's face went from amused to enraged. Haru realized his mistake just before her hand came up and slammed into his nose. The poor guy didn't stand a chance.

"WHAT?"

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Musica pressed his ear against the janitor's closet and smiled. So Elie had stopped screaming at Haru—_again_—which meant they were probably snogging—Musica decided that that was a cool word to use to describe making out—wildly. Not that that was a bad thing.

At his feet Griffon sniffled. "Miss Elie," he moaned and put his thin arms over his eyes. "WHY?"

Shaking his head, Musica nudged the blue blob with his boot. "Knock it off. They'll hear us." That was the last thing he wanted. Elie was downright scary when she was pissed off. She might have been more concerned with making out with Haru right now, but that wouldn't last after he opened the door.

Anger always came first with Elie… and Haru while they were on the subject.

Plue gave a small shudder as was his custom and settled against the wall besides the door, dozing. Musica sometimes envied the thing's ability to be completely oblivious to the things going on around him. Sometimes, not all the time.

But onto more pressing matters. Musica placed his ear back on the door again. "Yup. Definitely exchanging saliva." He grinned in self congratulations. "Way to go, Musica. I always knew they had the hots for each other."

"Free Miss Elie before she loses what innocence she still has to Haru!" Griffon demanded and almost lurched himself at the door, having every intention of being Elie's knight in shining armor.

"Whoa!" Musica reached out and snagged Griffon by the neck. "Are you kidding? Do you know what they'll do to me when they're freed? I'll never have children." He dumped the thing onto the floor and gave a long shudder at the image _that_ statement conjured up.

"Haru!" That was Elie's voice from the other side of the door. This was followed by a loud thud and Haru's triumphant yell answering it.

Okay, Musica had not seen that coming. Things might just be getting a little too out of hand on the other side. He had known they were both hormonally driven teenagers but… well, he didn't think they be playing baseball—if you got his meaning—so soon. Staring hard at the door for a minute, he made his decision.

He unlocked the door…

…And ran for it.

"MUSICA!" Haru and Elie's voice followed after him and Musica's mind was floating with the possibilities in which he would die. An incentive to run faster for sure.

He reached his room and locked the door just as the banging began. Musica backed away and wondered how long he had before Elie got frustrated enough to use her guns… or Haru brought the door down with his sword.

Not very long, probably.

Griffon and Plue had clung to his legs when he had started to run, not wanting to face Haru and Elie's wrath even if they weren't its recipients.

Now Griffon looked up at Musica as the banging on the door got louder. He was looking at a dead man and he wasn't too upset about that. After all, Musica had just had a hand in almost corrupting Miss Elie.

But there was one thing that was bothering him.

"Musica, why exactly did you lock both of them in the closet?" He had seen Musica push Elie into the janitor's room on her way to her daily first shower and had gone off to warn Haru of the man's evil, twisted intentions. That hadn't worked out so well…

The man shrugged and moved over to the window. If he was gonna die, he was gonna die with a view. At least Mission: Get Haru and Elie Together had been a success.

"Musica!" Griffon demanded. "Haru and Elie will have this door down any minute and I need to _know_. _NOW!_" Why would anyone want to corrupt his darling Miss Elie by handing her on a silver platter to the Rave Master?

Musica grinned but didn't face Griffon. Plue looked up at the door and his nose began to shudder. Even the little dog thing knew there was going to be a bloodbath in the near distant future.

But first things were first. Musica had a question to answer. After all, he had just shattered Griffon's dream, no? Didn't the blue thing deserve a least answer as to why it had been orchestrated?

It was simple. Stupidly simple why Musica had done what he had done. Why he had made Haru and Elie admit their mutual attraction for one another. So simple it probably should've been obvious. Or a crime.

"Actually, I was sorta bored…"

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**Word Count:** 3002

**Time:** an hour

**Beta:** is that something you eat?

**Couples:** Haru/Elie

**Genre:** romance/semi-sorta-attemped humor

**Status:** one-shot (complete)

**Author:** Lizzy Rebel

**Characters/Style:** Haru, Elie, fluffy, hopefully funny

**Notes:** Ah… funny, I hope? Please be funny!


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